Virginity II

I am not an angry woman or mad at the world. Not bitter or resentful in any way. Addressing virginity and speaking up about it is my way of offering you a different perspective. Saying what’s on my mind and talking about my personal feelings will hopefully make way for an open and respectful discussion about vaginas. After all, isn’t that what the world is all about?

Our love-hate relationship with pussies? Now, let us continue.

In VIRGINITY I I gave an account of my experiences with being judged for having had a baby out of wedlock, being a single mother and pursuing the love of a man that was supposedly out of my league. I ended my story concluding that firstly, my worth is not a matter of discussion and secondly, people like to fuck. Yes, women too. Finally, I think that the idea of virginity is stupid. In this second part I’ll elaborate on these 3 conclusions.

On worth
I do not mind people thinking or even stating that I am of lesser value than they are. Everyone has the right to think whatever they want. It was nonetheless quite hurtful to be judged by people who didn’t even want to know me, or my heart. I never cared much for public opinion and the herd instinct of people, until of course this happened. I truly believe that everyone is entitled to their own opinions but the right to think differs from the right to intervene. Meddling in matters of the heart is an act of selfishness. To deny someone the freedom to choose is wrong and undoubtedly ruthless to budding love. For the longest time I felt insecure about my place and purpose in this world. It made me question my choices in life, until I eventually concluded that it was a complete waste of time and energy to try and convince others of my worth. My worth is an absolute fact. Your standards, as valid as they may be in your world, don’t apply to me. My ability to be a good woman depends on me being a good human, not on whether or not I fucked.

On fucking
Women love to fuck. Fucking is one of Nature’s best inventions. Somewhere along the way however, man’s invention, namely virginity, trumped Nature’s. But we’ll get to virginity later. Let’s define fucking first. It’s more fun.

Did you know that Nature made women a certain way so that men, also made in a certain way, fit them like a hand in a glove? Really. It’s true. It’s actually meant like that. And if you fuck in a particularly special way, new life will come to fruition. On top of that bonus, fucking is also an enjoyable way to pass time. We women actually like to be fucked with penises (human or man-made) of our own choice. We derive a considerable amount of pleasure from fucking. Or sex. Or love-making. Depending on whichever mood we are in. The crazy thing about it though, is that as natural as fucking really is, to some people (both men and women) the notion of a woman enjoying  and having sex is disconcerting to say the least.

Fucking before your time, out of wedlock, with a stranger or for fun is frowned upon. Out of all things evolutionary fixed, fucking is the only thing that is artificially regulated. We eat when we feel like it. We sleep when we need to. We pee and poop when our body tells us to, but when it comes to fucking, we are bound by morality, religion and culture. Rules that determine whether you are dishonouring your family, on your way to hell, unmarriageable or all of the above. They apply to both men and women but strangely enough there is a loophole (pun intended) for men, namely not having a vagina.

On virginity
The world is obsessed with the female reproductive organ. Not with penises but with vaginas. We are obsessed with uteri, ovaries, labia, pubic hair, sanitary pads, tampons, menstruation, pregnancies, and all the other stuff that is related to it. Now I don’t think there’s much to fuss over, but a lot of people seem to think that controlling how a vagina is used and what it looks like is of vital importance. If we wouldn’t do that the world as we know it would end.

Whether or not a vagina is young or old, crooked or bushy, foreign or domestic, too loose, wrinkly or complex, being untainted is still the ultimate goal. The invention of man, that the determining factor of a woman’s significance rests on the (im)practical use of her vagina, is called virginity. It is so interwoven in society that even women accuse each other of lessened morality. Virginity to me is not an implicit truth. It is a concept from which people, groups, communities and entire countries derive a sense of worth and claim superiority. And we all know that when a lot of people think the same thing, it must be true.

Let me paint a picture. Apparently public opinion is based on the fact that a woman’s vagina can be penetrated, or in other words be prone to alien invasion, and therefore be damaged. When a vagina is invaded by a penis and sprayed over with sperm, it is deemed contaminated. Mind you that anything besides a penis, whether it’s a tampon, a dildo or one or two fingers, is not considered the same.

Unfortunately we women cannot douche our way back to virginity so once that cherry is popped, there’s no turning back. The seal is off my friend. It’s then written on a girl’s face, and will most likely say ‘on sale’. A contaminated vagina is automatically of diminished value. It seems that a woman loses something of worth when she has sex. I’d like to think she’d be gaining a dose of worthwhile experience but somewhere in our collective reasoning having sex marks the end of an era for women. According to some, that era is allowed to end at the tender age of seven, but hey, that is the price we pay for being born with a uterus. We could of course change our sentimental definition of virginity but then male superiority would be at risk. And what would a man be without superiority and the heavy weight of his penis?

My answer is, a man still, but the power of expandable body parts works in tyrannizing ways.

In any case, what a woman chooses to do with her vagina is her choice. It shouldn’t be anyone’s choice but hers. Demeaning women is done out of fear and quite a distinct confession of our collective characters. To reduce a woman to her vagina is an act of despotism. It has nothing to do with pride or protecting honour. That would be like saying that keeping your penis slacking and in your pants will free humanity of machismo. That will be the day.

People who deny and disregard the synergy of men and women are nothing but irreverent to the Power that created and is our Universe. Life is contingent upon men and women being built differently. It’s kind of the whole point of Creation. That women give birth and have been blessed with the ability to grow and bring forth new life is not an admission of their weakness or inferiority. It’s a sign of divinity.

If physical fortitude is the benchmark for superiority then women should oppress the shit out of men, considering we at one point in life are the sacred abode of 2 human souls. That is coming as close to God as anyone ever will. Try beating that .

The moral of my raging story is that you shouldn’t let other people’s opinion of you decide how you feel about yourself. People who think unkind thoughts will find something unkind to say, even if you are Mother Theresa incarnate. Don’t let it get to you. Someone’s opinion is just an opinion but it is not your truth. You decide what that is. Agree or disagree but do not argue about your worth. It’s not up for debate.

In praise of all vaginas and penises, sending you a bucket full of reverence all the way from here to wherever you are.

Monique